When did it become so rare to love yourself that it is now revolutionary to do so? That’s a question I came across very recently and it just hit home.
Loving yourself has become such a foreign thing that when you do, people stand in awe of you like “Wow, how awesome is that?”. Yes, it is totally awesome that you love yourself, but why should it be one of those things that only a few people have? Loving yourself should be a universal feeling, like joy or excitement, we should all love ourselves, so why don’t we?
As a young woman who once lived in such a deep self-hate for myself, I can totally relate to those who feel bad about themselves. I get it. We see ourselves at our absolute worst, with our bad messy morning hair, our imperfect complexions, the scars and marks that feel like they cover our entire body, and all the other random things we pick on. We look at ourselves like that for so long that it does change the way we see ourselves, because then when we go out and someone compliments our hair, we immediately think back to that morning hair struggle we had that morning. I don’t know about you, but I still battle to accept compliments even now. Someone will say “Hey! I love your hair” and I’ll either just brush it off and pretend they didn’t just say that (It’s so bad, I know) or I’ll shoot them back with a “Oh, trust me it didn’t look so great this morning” and kind of down play the compliment. Truth is the way we see ourselves versus the way people see us, they are often so different, it’s almost like being in two different galaxies.
I feel like people don’t really know what they’re talking about when they complement me because they don’t see me at my worst, they only see the side of me that is dressed nicely because well like every other woman on earth, I wouldn’t dare leave the house looking bad. Honestly though, I am wrong in thinking that. People may not see all sides of me, but when they complement me, they are just saying what they are seeing. A change of mindset is in order. When people say something nice to us, we need to learn to accept that as truth. Why would they say “nice hair” if your hair isn’t looking so great? Why would someone call you beautiful if you didn’t look it?
So part of our self-image problem is comparison. Oh my, the way it irritates me that we always compare ourselves, I actually irritate myself when I catch myself comparing myself to someone else! I don’t understand why we do it, and I really wish we wouldn’t because it’s probably one of the biggest things that tears our own self confidence apart. Society has put so much emphasis on what we look like, what we wear and the type of body we have, it’s not fair. We are not all meant to look the same, and sound the same. God made us UNIQUE for a reason. We aren’t meant to be carbon copies of each other, we are meant to be the unique and beautiful individuals we were created to be. You are beautiful in your own way.
I know you are probably thinking ‘well that’s what people say to those who don’t fit the model standard’, and its super cliché to say that, I know, but it is the truth. Let’s take flowers for example, a white rose and a red tulip. I think we can all agree that a white rose is really beautiful. A plump, full petalled little flower that’s beauty is radiant. I also think we can all agree that a red tulip is also extremely beautiful. A bright red flower with the most exquisitely elegant shape. Both are beautiful. Just because the white rose is beautiful in one way does not mean the tulip is now ugly, no the tulip is also beautiful, but the tulip is beautiful in the way it was made. Maybe some would prefer a white rose to a tulip, but that does not make one more beautiful than the other. The beauty of a white rose does not take away from the beauty of a tulip or vice versa. Both are just as beautiful as the other and both will end up being looked at with awe and loved by the person who picks it.
See where I am going with this? You are beautiful in the way you were created, and just because your beautiful doesn’t look like someone else’s beautiful does not mean you are now not beautiful, you’re just beautiful in your way, and they in their way. Since society is so messed up, what do we model ourselves on? God’s Word! Who God says we are, and what God says and thinks about us is by far more important than anything else. What God tells us is what we ought to accept as truth.
When you look at yourself, look through God’s eyes. Redefine the beautiful you have been taught, to be the beautiful God will show you.