Anyone else a planner? Like you have to plan what you’re doing next month at work, or where you going next year, or even what the end goal of your current path is?

I know I used to be like that. I couldn’t ever just wonder through life aimlessly, I had to know what I was doing or going to do, and there had to be a reason for what I was doing. I had to have a plan, I could never just “go with the flow”.

The hardest thing I’ve had to do as a believer is let that go. You know how hard that is? For a planner to let their plans go? Just go with God’s flow? It was really hard for me, and I know that it might be a bit hard for some of you too. How do you hand over your plans to God and wonder through life only knowing the next step but not knowing where that step leads?

I had so many plans for my own life and I thought it was great and what God wanted, but God really did have other plans. I had set a plan for my future that I thought was the plan God also had but I didn’t realise that God was actually using what I thought I was going to do to take me to something better. I spent many nights crying out to God, begging Him to show me what I am supposed to do, and where He is taking me. Looking back now, I see what He was actually doing.

My plan was to go and study, and for the first time in a long time I actually knew exactly what I was good at, and I had never been more sure that this was exactly what God wanted me to do. Don’t get me wrong, I was following God’s lead, but where I thought I was going and where I ended up going were completely different.  I had applied and gotten into college but due to a lack of finances, I could not go through with registration. I remember asking God why He would lead me to that point if He knew I wouldn’t be able to actually go down that road. Countless nights spent praying that God would change my situation so that I might be able to go through with studying.

But God really did have a different plan, and I had to learn to live by what I said. I said God I give my life to you, but by me trying to control my own future, I was not really living out the words I had spoken. As a planner, this broke me in ways I could never explain. I had to let go of all the ideas and plans I had made in my head and just go with God’s flow. Finally I found myself lining up my plans up with what God wanted, and just like that it was all taken away from me.

Maybe its a little dramatic to say it broke me, but it really did. Because at that point I felt so lost and confused, I really didn’t know what God was doing and why He was doing it, but it brought me down to realise that I needed to hand control over to God. I had been trying to make my own plans for my life when actually I was supposed to be following God’s plans for my life. God basically had to humble me and get the planner in me to give Him control, to teach me that He is the planner and that I need to trust Him. His plans have been so much better than mine ever could’ve been, and I can say that with confidence, because although I am not at all where I thought I’d be, I am where I need to be.

Maybe you’re asking, well how can you be so sure that you are exactly where God needs you to be? Trust me, I have asked that question plenty of times, the planner in me kept trying to come up and make me question if I am actually in the right place. There is just an unexplainable peace and joy that comes upon you, your whole being just feels so at ease. Its like finding that comfortable position when you’re going to bed, it just feels so good and satisfying, when you’re in the right position that God put you, you will feel it throughout your entire being. But maybe its a bit of a bumpy road so you question if you’re actually in Gods will. Well God’s grace will carry you through it and keep you where God needs you. Even if sometimes its hard, if theres a way, its usually because God made a way.  I know I am in God’s will for me because there are so many reasons why I should’ve given up what I am doing. Somehow God has always made a way for me to be doing what I am doing, and not even for one second its felt like I should not have gone down this path. Theres no feeling that is more fulfilling than being exactly where God wants you to be.

I’d be lying to you if I said I have never doubted, but that was the planner in me trying to tell me that my plan was better because I don’t know Gods full plan. Theres a reason for everything God has done in the past, is doing right now and will do in the future. You will never understand what God is doing at the time, but I can guarantee that you will look back one day and see God’s fingerprints all over your life.

When you are in Gods will for your life, you will know. You will feel that unexplainable peace. But to get into God’s will, you have to let Him have control and actually trust Him when He says you must do something, or when you must not do something.

We all say “God, my life is Yours. I trust You. You’re my everything”, but what are our actions saying? Do your actions speak the same words your lips do?  I know mine weren’t, but God did what He needed to so that I could learn to let go of my plans and trust Him with my life.

Now, I am an intern in a church doing exactly what I wanted to study. I’m being taught and trained by people who not only guide me when it comes to Godly matters, but also when it comes to the gifts and talents God placed in me. So I am getting more worthwhile experience for work and in my personal life than I ever would have at some college.

So as an ex-planner, I can say that it is okay to let God have the control you claim He has. Trust Him, He knows what makes you happy, so don’t you think that He will include those things into the plan He has? Let go of your plans and watch God turn your life into an exciting adventure.

Dive into the unknown with the all-knowing God.

 

-Kelly Hardouin